Bevallen in TerGooi
Review over TergooiI want to share the story of my birth at Tergooi so women know what can happen. When I searched for information, all I found were one-line reviews about "good care." This is especially for my non-Dutch sisters, because research indicates that foreign-born women, particularly those from non-Western backgrounds, often experience worse labor and perinatal outcomes in the Netherlands compared to native Dutch women (PMID: 39614200).
I had a perfect pregnancy, a spontaneous labor, and arrived at the hospital when I was already 8 cm dilated. So, everything was perfect.
The ward. There's nothing in the ward for a woman in labor except these uncomfortable beds. There are no exercise balls, no chairs, nothing. All you can do is stand or lie on the bed. You can't even use the shower to ease contraction pain because the light is always on, and you can't maintain warmth-darkness-quiet settings. They're not cooperative and don't offer or tell you what they have.
My midwife was Sarphatie-Rommens and the doctor C.H. de Koning.
Avoid them at all cost.
After several hours of contractions at 8 cm, I requested pain relief. I was denied an epidural, but they offered morphine with the words "you'll get some rest." That's all the midwife said. She explained absolutely nothing about morphine, didn't warn me about the risks, etc. I couldn't wake up on the morphine; it lasted for about an hour and a half after the infusion stopped. I couldn't wake up; between contractions, I'd drift into unconsciousness, unable to speak or stand up for myself. The morphine slowed the contractions, and the midwife used oxytocin. Did anyone mention the risk of slowing contractions with morphine? No
After stopping the morphine, I was already 9 cm dilated, and the midwife told me, "There's no difference between 9 cm and 10 cm, let's push." The baby was still high up and hadn't dropped into the pelvis. I knew that it was a complete BS, but under the morphine, I was incapable of asserting myself. The midwife didn't explain ANYTHING about pushing; she literally didn't tell me which muscles to use or how to push. I had to fight for changing positions (remember the morphine and the pain from contractions at 9 cm). The midwife only knew one position - on the back. She didn't offer any other positions. I felt nothing on my back except pain; it was incredibly difficult.
The midwife didn't correct my attempts to push in any way, she didn’t make sure that I my attempts were correct, she just standing there, like a wall. I pushed for two hours, and during those two hours, NO ONE, neither the doctor nor the midwife, even attempted to explain or correct my actions. They simply watched. They gave me morphine without telling me I wouldn't be able to think clearly, they told me to push without telling me how, and they laid me on my back where I felt nothing but pain.
When my attempts to push were deemed "ineffective", they called the doctor. The doctor was useless, offering no explanation whatsoever, making no attempt to explain anything, the doctor didn’t communicate with me, not a single phrase, no attempt to change my position, or help me in any way. All the doctor did was try to pull my baby with a vacuum, without trying to do anything to prevent it. She didn't explain why the vacuum was needed, not a single word of explanation, just "we'll use a vacuum". Finally, they performed an episiotomy with the words, "We need more space, do you agree?" She didn't even mention the procedure she was going to perform, didn't even try to convey the risk, or that you should just gather all your strength and push like this and that. No, I was just a piece of meat about to give birth, that's all.
After such wonderful care, I developed PTSD, which still hasn't gone away (9 months), and I'm have to undergo therapy. The episiotomy scar bothers me every day.
At the end, the midwife could not even do stitches correctly, and I got some pieces of tissue that are not together, like V letter.
My perfect first pregnancy, my first birth, which was going perfectly until I met the midwife and doctor, ended in disaster. I will always remember this experience; my child's birthday will always be associated not with the joy of his arrival, but with horror at the indifference of the medical staff.
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